我有一位朋友，当年准备出国学金融，本科毕业以后同时获得了英国伦敦政经和美国普渡大学的录取通知，因为没有真的想清楚究竟要去哪，所以一度很犹豫。最后她怀着美国比英国好就业的想法，放弃了名校，而投奔了美国名气稍逊的普渡。然而在她研究生毕业那年，遭遇了2008金融风暴，美国人都被各种裁员，更别说刚毕业的国际学生了，于是背离了最初的目标，匆匆的回到了国内，却发现国内金融圈里，学历并不比关系重要多少，而离开的这段时间，相反没能得到这方面的积累。最后又以新人的身份进入了四大，和很多大学本科毕业生回到了同一起跑线。

这就是传说中最常见的，“走一步看一步”式人生规划。由于走一步看一步，所以很容易迷失方向，还容易走回头路，这时哪怕腿脚再强健，也走不出个章法，更发挥不出潜力。这位同学的第一个错误，在于把目标建立在一个不真实的假设前提下，那就是美国毕业容易在当地留下。她没有评估这个“留在美国”的目标：1、对于她是不是足够重要。如果是的话，哪怕拿一个不要薪水的OPT实习，也应该先在当地工作一段时间，客服困难也要留下；2、实现的风险是否大，不确定因素多不多。事实上哪怕没有经历金融危机，美国金融业也不轻易招募大批国际学生。所以从一开始这个目标设定本身和她当时的状态，就一定程度上决定了这段留学日后出彩的几率较小。

但是中国学生，找不清楚个人的定位，看不清未来的形势，摸不准自己所适合的方向的人是多数。从小在独木桥上打拼过来，学校、家长和老师都告诉这条路是唯一的路，不用考虑选择的问题，只用考虑努力的程度。于是伴随着和同龄人竞争所带来的安全感，一直回避做出对自己负责的选择，直到上了大学，就好像是一直在游泳池学游泳的人突然进了汪洋，不知道要向何处游，怎么游，搞不清楚人生的意义，不知道大学的价值，更不知道毕业以后要做什么，多数连大学专业也是蒙着眼睛，基于各种假设或父母的建议选择的。

独立思考和自我决策也是一种能力，不是一夜顿悟就能熟练掌握的。处在懵懂状态选择留学，就和很多学生选择考研，或者选择一份安稳的工作一样，并不是一次主动的选择，而变成是一次对自我反思的回避，希望把最最困难的问题留的未来和未知来解决，当外力逼迫时自己再解决，而这个根本性问题，那就是“自己究竟想要什么样的生活。

I have a friend who was planning to study finance abroad. After graduating from his undergraduate degree, he was admitted to London Political Science and Economics and Purdue University in the United States at the same time. In the end, with the idea that the United States is better than the United Kingdom for employment, she gave up the prestigious school and went to Purdue, which is less famous in the United States. However, when she graduated from graduate school, she encountered the 2008 financial turmoil. Americans were laid off in various ways, let alone international students who had just graduated. So she deviated from her original goal and hurried back to China, only to find that the domestic financial circle Here, academic qualifications are not much more important than relationships, and during the period of leaving, on the contrary, I have not been able to accumulate this aspect. In the end, he entered the Big Four as a rookie, and returned to the same starting line as many college graduates.

This is the most common in the legend, "take one step at a time and see one step at a time" type of life planning. Because of taking one step at a time, it is easy to lose your way, and it is easy to go back. At this time, no matter how strong your legs are, you will not be able to get out of the way, and you will not be able to realize your potential. The student's first mistake was to base his goal on an untrue assumption, that is, it is easy to stay in the United States after graduating from the United States. She did not evaluate the goal of "remaining in the United States": 1. Whether it is important enough for her. If so, even if you take an OPT internship that does not require salary, you should work locally for a period of time first, and you should stay if you have difficulties in customer service; 2. Whether the risk of realization is large and whether there are many uncertain factors. In fact, even if there is no financial crisis, the US financial industry does not easily recruit a large number of international students. So from the very beginning, the goal setting itself and her state at that time determined to a certain extent that the chance of studying abroad in the future is relatively small.

However, most of the Chinese students can't figure out their personal positioning, see the future situation clearly, or figure out the direction they are suitable for. I have worked hard on the single-plank bridge since I was a child. The school, parents and teachers all told me that this road is the only way. I don’t need to consider the choice, but only the degree of effort. So with the sense of security brought about by competing with peers, I have been avoiding making choices that are responsible for myself until I went to college. You, how to swim, don't know the meaning of life, don't know the value of university, and don't know what to do after graduation. Most of them even choose their majors blindfolded, based on various assumptions or parents' suggestions.

Independent thinking and self-determination are also abilities, which cannot be mastered overnight. Choosing to study abroad in an ignorant state is the same as many students choose to take the postgraduate entrance examination or choose a stable job. It is not an active choice, but an avoidance of self-reflection, hoping to leave the most difficult problems behind. The future and the unknown should be solved, and when external forces force you to solve it yourself, the fundamental problem is "what kind of life do you want.

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